What Really Counts
by GodsOfEgypt09
Summary: Sirius Black reflects back on his disowning and some words of wisdom from his beloved friend Lupin and how it has turned him into who he is today. A short life lesson narrative essay that I wrote for my English class.


Author's Note: I wrote this piece as an English assignment with focus on narrative writing and life lessons. I had a lot of fun writing it and was pleased with how it turned out, and I hope you all are too.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of it's characters. All rights go to J. K. Rowling.

"What Really Count"

Trying not to be too loud so as not to awake the house full of sleeping Order members, I tiptoed up the stairs. It was to no avail though for the old, rickety steps creaked louder with every step I took towards the third floor. This was my first time being back in my parents' home since they had seared my name off the family tree twenty years ago.

I open the door to my room with which had a silver plaque with my name Siruis Black inscribed on it. The room hadn't changed at all. Red and gold banners, posters, and tapestries decorated the room in rebellion.

I chuckle as I think about how displeased my mother had been to find I had magically glued the Gryffindor posters on the wall forever.

I plop down on the bed and let myself sink into the mattress as well as my old memories at Hogwarts and once again I was eleven years old.

A devilish smile was slapped on my face as I winked to my new friend James Potter. My name was called, and I walked forth to the stool where the sorting hat was placed upon my head by a woman with a very pointy hat. Instantly a worn voice began to rapidly speak in my ear.

"Ah, mischievous, brave, yet . . . hesitant. Your heart says Gryffindor, but your mind cautions Slytherin. I believe, however, it is in your best interest that I place you in GRYFFINDOR!"

My face fell a bit, but upon hearing the Gryffindor table roar in approval and James hoot, I knew that Gryffindor would be my new family, even if it meant I would lose my blood family.

I ponder then why I had been disappointed at the thought of how my family would not accept me as a Gryffindor. It must have been because I was so young then, for now I realize that true family supports you and encourages you to be who you are. My mother and father never were family; that's why they covered of my disgrace.

Due to my parents' disapproval, I stayed my first five years after I started Howgarts completely at the school or with James, Lupin, or Peter, who were my best friends (except during the summer when I went home for short periods of time). We had been the trickiest students in the whole school, playing pranks at ever chance we could. Every one of my best memories were of them. However, the Christmas break of my sixth year I was unable to stay with either of them so I was forced to go home.

This wouldn't have been a problem had my parents not felt the need to show off their prosperity of the year to our most dear relatives. Typically, they told my aunts and uncles, cousins, and grandparents that I was at the school studying furiously in the chilly dungeons that were the Slytherin common room. With my door sealed shut there was no way for my family's disgusting "secret" to be discovered.

I awoke from thirst on my last night at home before returning back to Hogwarts. I slid out of bed and slipped on my fuzzy sleepers and plush night robe. Sluggishly, I shuffled down the stairs to the kitchen to sit by the fire that consisted only of embers now. I call for Kreacher, our house-elf, to prepare me hot cocoa with cinnamon and a few biscuits. I warmed my fingers over the fire and felt my face become flushed as I waited. Just as Kreacher handed me the mug, a roar was heard from the third floor.

The noise had spooked Kreacher into dropping the cocoa on me which scalded my legs, making me yelp in pain. Suddenly, footsteps were heard bounding down the stairs and in barges my grandfather, Sirius Black II. I cringed at the sight of him.

"You filthy traitor!" he bellowed, emphasizing each word. "You humiliate the Black family! And to think you were named after . . . after me!" he spitted out in disgust.

I cringed again. This was exactly what I had been trying to avoid for the past six years. Now it was all for nothing. My true self had been discovered, and I was likely to be disowned by sunrise.

I was correct.

Just then my grandfather seized me by the collar and yanked me upstairs to the family room. He grumbled the entire time in a loud fashion about being lied to for years.

"Calm down why don't you? You'll wake the whole house if you continue like this," I hissed at him, succeeding in getting slapped across the face.

"How dare you speak to me, blood traitor? Sit down and shut up!" he commanded.

I did as I was told but in such a casual manner so that he would not appear to get the best of me, but in reality I was hurt; hurt deeply and I wasn't sure why. I sat in silence as my groggy parents, followed by my brother, entered the room. My grandfather then proceed to place the tip of his wand to my name on the family tree, igniting it in flames which danced across the wall until I no longer existed to the Black family. He cast a disappointed look my way before exiting. My parents followed after him in the same manner after telling me to never return, to which I bowed and grinned, saying it'd be my pleasure. Then I awkwardly hugged my brother goodbye before I headed up to my room for last minute packing.

That first week back at Hogwarts I was totally off and apparently it was obvious to others because Lupin was ready to get to the bottom of it when I met him at the Shrieking Shack.

"Hey, Moony, how was your break?" I asked cheerfully in hopes he wouldn't question me.

"Just fine, Sirius, but let's not dance around, okay? What's the matter? You've been so quiet since you got back. You haven't even told a single joke, come with us to pull any pranks, or flirted with a single girl. Not one!" The concern in Lupin's voice was so evident I couldn't stop myself from opening up just so that he wouldn't worry.

"I – I feel so confused. I don't even like my parents, don't agree with their views, so why do I feel so inadequate, now that they disowned me?" My voice fluctuating from despair to frustration.

"Sirius, I'm a werewolf, a monster, and I struggle to accept it every day, but you know what I've learned?"

"No," I answered simply not knowing where he was going with this.

"I've learned that it's a lot easier to accept yourself, if you only let your thoughts count."

Reliving this memory of Lupin's advice gave me chills. It was the most powerful thing I was ever told. Surprisingly, a tear rolls down my cheek as I think of how I wouldn't be here today with my godson Harry, wouldn't have had the strength to survive Azkaban, had it not been for that conversation.


End file.
